Notes to yourself

Sometimes, when we look around, we would realise how blessed we were but reality always strike right onto our face without asking you prior for preparation, so when that happened, we would realise, how life can be so unfair that even ready-made quotes cannot be utilized for the benefits of it.

Usually during exam period, you have so many anxiety going on, afraid of not able to memorize the whole damn notes that you have hand written neatly with colourful pen, afraid of not able to have sufficient time to answer the question, afraid of not able to answer the question eventhough the question cross the impression road of yours. As for me, I got to be less serious and less focus when come to this year's assessment. 

It seems to gone a little bit too far out of track, like my mind is a racing track, horses are racing, all of different topics, different perspective of life, but for my racing track it doesn't seems to have a destination, it didn't seems to have a finish line to define what do I really want, or maybe it does not have a finish line to tell me what I am suppose to do right now at this time, so that long term goal can be achived.

I am entirely lost, drowned by the sea, not wanting to be save. 

It confused me more and more when I try to focus on just one main horse. 

I have so many thoughts going on my mind, racing through my brain, I wanted so much to scribble them down in words with the best description, but eventually when I open up the book or even a blog post, I immediately fall to a mute stage, the stage where the brain suddenly went too blank even though I tried so hard to scrutinise and drag out the information I wanted to write, but the brain just gone empty until to the point that I cannot decipher what should I write next..

2016 was a beautiful year indeed, it made me see life in a different positive and negative way,

2016 was the year I had my braces fixed to align the teeth.

2016 was the year I took the second chance given but yet still fell down hard on the ground.

2016 was the year I realise kindness soul of a legit human being still exist.

2016 made me realise how lucky I am to have my family sticking around me and the right person being there to listen to my rant when the habits of tantrum arises.

2016 made me realise the cruelty of a particular human being towards not only to another human being but animal,

2016 made me realise how things never work out on our way,

2016 made me realise that there's no way for any of us to judge anyone's feeling unless you are confidently waling in their shoes, seeing and feeling things like they do, otherwise we should just shut the damn mouth up and observe. 

2016 made me to realise everyone's has a strong superficial skin intact that lies an untoldable stories which are never to be reveal in any extent because it's something that is never meant to be told.

2016 made me realise that, sometimes, friends never actually leave, leave is when they were gone and never be seen anymore, friend won't leave without a proper goodbye, it was just that, the relationship between one and another started to become distant because of other temptation.

2016 made me realise you have to made a lot of sacrifices even your slightest dream towards something non-academical for the purpose of academic,

2016 made me realise that no matter how good you tried to treat others on your own behalf, you shall never in your sligthest faith expect the receiver to do the same damn things to you, because they never will and this made me appreciate things even more as time fleet by,

2016 made me realise that life could be so so so so.... ultimately unfair to you,

2016 made me believe that how a particular diagnosis can alter your whole life upside down until you would actually cried yourself to bed every night, wishing and praying everything to be better,

2016 made me realise to have faith not only to your own God, but the existence of other God because all of them are of same purpose.

2016 made me realise that, family broke down is more hurtful then breaking up with the people you love because they are the one that irreplacable and they are the only one that worth crying for even for the slightest reason,

2016 also made me to realise that, it's hard and almost impossible to stay positive and have positive insight when Science is explaining the bad things right in front of you to break the fragile heart of yours,

eventually....

2016 told me to Stay Stronger and Longer when everyone around you started to go and fall down, because there's when they needed you the most to pick them up from the sandy ground, brushing away the dust off their pants and tell them 

:" Come on, let's go and keep moving, it's hard, but it's definitely worth the fight."