The only post, 2018

Just realize the very last post was like one year ago. (What a shame!)

Contemplated so long whether to write this blog post or not because I bet it's gonna to get pretty personal. haven't been really reading much, thus the vocabulary might be a little too simple. Haven't been writing much, I totally lost track of my very  last time holding any pen to really jot down something meaningful, thus apologizing for the imminent long confusing grammar mistake. Told myself to at least write one blog post since I have been a super useless brat for the past few month, doing exactly nothing, slackening, binge watching unnecessary drama which I hated, whatever you name it, probably I have done it all.

Well, without further long explanation I think I shall begin with... maybe everything that had happened in 2018. Such cliche post right!!

Nothing much happened between January and February, but if you want me to list out one particular event, it would be the misunderstanding and the commotion that happened between my family. I can't bear to explain more on this, not especially here but all I could said is that, if there's any unsatisfactory between one and another, don't ever try to run away from it. Unsatisfactory is like a huge parasite, it sucks all of your energy, if you have a problem, don't drag it!! Damn it, curse the shit out of it and then solve it together.

March, one of my favourite month I would say and yet it sadly started to become one of my least liked month. This is the month where I lost my dad, that one man that truly means a million to me, that one man that would give me everything despite hard circumstances, that one man that had been consistently asking me regarding my forthcoming convocation with tears streaming down because he knew, that few months from March seems like forever that would never happen.

I don't tell all this to anyone, not even people who I have studied with, not even the lecturers that had been asking me of my sudden absence in clinical, not even my extreme close friend until I am ready to tell. The reason why I do not like to tell people all this because first, it's something pretty saddening, so that's no point of telling when they would just ended up asking you what exactly had happened rather than asking whether I am alright or not. Secondly, I do not want to feel entitled to anything around. Just because I have lost someone in life, that doesn't give me any right to do or receive anything differently. I have seen people, with a more troubling life survive the whole damn journey of life themselves without complaining of them being different than the ordinary. This is just me, I don't like people feeling sorry for me. Alright not gonna write a long harangue on this.

Besides, March was the month where I went to different sort of beauty pageant audition, and failed most of the time. Where's the shame to stop man?? Sorry mate, I just can't stop. Unless they said I am not in the prerequisite anymore. I was s adamant to go for the audition to try it out even though I will be having a huge exam the next day. I took the bus on Friday night, then reached the next morning, mind still thinking of tons of exam questions after done with the audition, went to my friend's house, studied and studied then took the bus at night to go back to my university, then sit for the exam straight and that's how far I would go.

I can't really keep track of the month, so I would just continue my blog post maybe in pin point form.

2018, a year where I finished my own research which before and after that I realize it contributed nothing to the field that I am studying, but at least I got an insight of the opinion from the young one towards the field that I am studying.

2018, a year where I went to other country with my course mates. Decided to, again write a blog post about it, and actually I did start writing, but after few sentences, my brain went completely blank and the post was left there, in the draft folder, alone, with word of "Vietnam Trip". Anyway, it was a good trip, but also a very rush and we spend most of the time in the bus, travelling from state to state I think. Most of the time all I thought about was the time of the bus schedule, and make sure we manage to catch up with the bus, and honestly, I didn't really explore much of their culture which made me felt this whole trip is never enough, like there's something lost in there that I need to go and explore again.. 5 days in 3 different state or area, really a hustle and bustle trip but definitely a memorable one.

2018, a year where I again joined Miss World Malaysia, hoping for major changed but to no avail it's just the same as all the previous year yet they do have a really produced a good winner this year which manage to put Malaysia at the top for many categories of competition. There were so many on going commotion going on the competition, would definitely write a post regarding this so that when I look back one day, I would realize how strong the girls were even though the short one (which is 170cm below) were being treated so differently with the tall one. I am not bashing anyone, all of the contestant regardless of their height were super sweet, kind and extra helpful!! It's the management that failed and created tons of shitty nonsense. Alright will definitely update one post on this, next...

2018, a year where I passed my board exam, which means that I am officially a certified nurse who can give you IM injection right on your ass, besides, it's also this year where I graduated with a first class bachelor degree. 4 years of studying and playing so hard but was only given that 4 seconds on the stage. Yay..... Hey, wait at least I don't have to pay back the loan, ok then the four second on stage is good then.

Alright, it took me like one week to finally finish this up, and now finally I would have one post in 2018. Just before I end, remember to do what you love, time won't wait for anyone, just do it man!!